Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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