Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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