Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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