OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have fence marks all over my body
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
