If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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