don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
