hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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