I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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