Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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