White coat. Heels.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
