Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
