I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
