I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
