so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
