hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it was like eating out sand paper
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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