"it" just moved
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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