The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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