I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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