I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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