So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
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