my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When are your genitals available?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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