is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
