My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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