Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize