You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he was CRYING into my vagina
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
