don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
