You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize