Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Randomize
