doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
