I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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