he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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