So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i've created a new STD.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
