i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys