butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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