I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize