i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
