do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
