btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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