No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
