are you so shy because you have an std?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
