Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
