CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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