Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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