too bad you live with your parents still
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Hippo gnu deer
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
