I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize