yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
