just tell him i said nine months
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
