This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
