they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
