got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
