put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
