I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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