Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
