he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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