Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
