Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My ATM looks so different sober.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
